New Years Resolutions for New Mormons
Congratulations! You’ve joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and have become what is sometimes called a Mormon. Your whole eternity looks different now, but you may be feeling a bit overwhelmed about what steps to take next. With the new year just starting, it’s a great time to make some resolutions to help you settle into your new faith. Following are some ideas to get you started:
1. Read the Book of Mormon all the way through. If you’ve never read it, it will give you a strong foundation in your faith. If you’ve already read it, you’ll find new insights now that you’re a member and have the basics of the book under control. As soon as you finish, read the Bible.
2. Put your testimony in writing, and date it. Each year, on your baptism anniversary, write a new testimony. Keep them all together in a notebook so you can see how it grows. In each one, record the parts of the gospel that have the most impact on you and at least one spiritual experience that helped your testimony grow.
3. Start a journal. Record your everyday life, but also record your growing testimony and gospel experiences. Someday all this Mormonism will seem ordinary to you. You don’t want to forget what it was like when it was new and exciting. Remembering will make you a better missionary to others and also help you to remember why you joined when the going gets rough.
4. Prioritize the changes you want to make. As you prepared for baptism, you made a number of changes in your life to qualify for your baptism. Now you may have learned many more things you will need to do in your lifetime to become the person you want to be. This can be very overwhelming. Don’t try to change everything at once. Make a list of ten things and put them in order of most important. Start with those that have the most impact on your spirituality and worthiness and work on one or two at a time. When you feel those are under control, choose two more. In the long run, you’ll make more changes this way than if you try to do twenty things at once.
5. Make an LDS friend. You need someone you trust, besides the missionaries, to turn to when things are spiritually challenging, when you’re asked to give your first talk, or when you don’t understand something. Take your time, and choose wisely. This person can serve as your mentor, so you want to be sure they have a strong testimony and lots of patience. Often people who are also converts have the easiest time understanding how confusing all this is for you.
6. Find a way to serve. Even if no one offers you a calling, find something you can do. Let the bishop know you’d like a church job, but also look for those little things that always need doing that no one is assigned to do. Come early and straighten the hymnbooks. Make a point of greeting visitors. Bring the missionaries a regular treat. Sit by someone who always sits alone. The church is full of jobs that don’t come with callings, and you can assign yourself one or two of them.
Serving Behind the Scenes
Filed under: Becoming a New Member, Surviving the First Year
As a new convert, you probably won’t receive, just yet, the so-called “important callings.” Most new converts, except in areas where the church is new, aren’t chosen to lead organizations or do the jobs that garner attention and praise. One of the wonderful things about the church, though, is that regardless of how certain individuals might perceive a calling, there is no such thing as an unimportant calling. We don’t invent work. Every job that is assigned is necessary and important. J. Reuben Clark pointed out,“In the service of the Lord, it is not where you serve but how.”
In fact, the most important work is really done by the people with less conspicuous callings. Visit the nursery one day. In this room, tucked away in some corner of the building, are women (and sometimes men) quietly caring for the toddlers while their mothers and fathers attend their meetings or carry out their callings. They don’t just babysit. There is a schedule outlined by the church, with real lessons prepared and taught. It’s an educational time for the children. Hardly anyone will be able to tell you who is serving in that room, other than the children and parents, but they are there, teaching frightened little ones to feel safe in church and introducing them to gospel principles. Most parents would find church an impossible task without those dedicated nursery workers, who serve without fanfare, but who are the church to their students.
When you attend a ward activity, take note of the fact that when you arrived, the room was prepared and decorated, and plans had been made. The head of the activities committee is likely to be the one who stands in front of everyone and welcomes the crowds, but there were many unseen people who came in early to prepare this wonderful event for you. Afterwards, many people will stay late, often without an assignment, just to help clean up so the building is in good shape for the Sabbath.
When you find a clean bathroom, hymn books neatly in place in the chapel, a meal prepared, or a meeting running smoothly, there are people behind these things, working quietly and without attention or praise.
As a new member, it is likely you will be one of the people who make this happen. It may be that few people know what you did, but the Lord knows and you know. Your quiet, private contributions to the well-being of the church are part of the bigger picture. I have on my desk a quote from President Hinckley that I like to read as I start my work each day. It says, in part, “Though my work may be menial, though my contribution may be small, I can perform it with dignity and offer it with unselfishness.” Later he adds, “The goodness of the world in which we live is the accumulated goodness of many small and seemingly inconsequential acts. (Gordon B. Hinckley, “I Believe,” Ensign, Aug 1992, 2)
The church is filled with people working quietly and without attention. If they disappeared, the church could no longer function. Don’t worry if you’re not yet the person out front. The Book of Mormon is filled with people who were not the stars of the story, and yet who changed the world with their quieter contributions. Howard W. Hunter, a former president of the church, once devoted an entire talk to some of these people. He said,
“Not all of us are going to be like Moroni, catching the acclaim of our colleagues all day every day. Most of us will be quiet, relatively unknown folks who come and go and do our work without fanfare. To those of you who may find that lonely or frightening or just unspectacular, I say, you are “no less serviceable” than the most spectacular of your associates. You, too, are part of God’s army.
Consider, for example, the profound service a mother or father gives in the quiet anonymity of a worthy Latter-day Saint home. Think of the Gospel Doctrine teachers and Primary choristers and Scoutmasters and Relief Society visiting teachers who serve and bless millions but whose names will never be publicly applauded or featured in the nation’s media.
Tens of thousands of unseen people make possible our opportunities and happiness every day. As the scriptures state, they are “no less serviceable” than those whose lives are on the front pages of newspapers.”
To read the rest of the talk and to learn who some of the “no less serviceable people in the scriptures and church history are, visit, “Howard W. Hunter, “‘No Less Serviceable’,” Ensign, Apr 1992, 64
Born Again
As a new member, people who don’t understand your new religion may ask if you’ve been born again. For some, that means no more than saying you’ve accepted Christ as your Savior, which you most certainly have. It’s one of the questions you’re asked when you are interviewed for baptism. However, there is more to being born again than making a statement.
President David O. McKay, said, “No man can sincerely resolve to apply in his daily life the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth without sensing a change in his own nature. The phrase ‘born again’ has a deeper significance than many people attach to it. This changed feeling may be indescribable, but it is real.” (In Conference Report, Apr. 1962, p. 7.)
How can you be truly born again, from an LDS perspective? This is a process that takes time. It’s not a single moment’s action, but a lifetime of hard work and faith-growing. David R. Bednar, a general authority, compared the process to that of making pickles. He says that when his mother made pickles, the process could not be hurried and steps couldn’t be skipped. As 2 Corinthians 5:17 states: “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” To become a completely new person, with all old things passed away suggests an intense and sometimes challenging, lifelong process.
Elder Bednar offers these steps to becoming born again:
The process begins with immersing and saturating.
A mere sampling of the gospel simply won’t do. It won’t work to go to church on Sunday and forget all about your religion until the next Sunday. It won’t work to go through the motions without any real commitment or change of heart. You must begin with the first principles and ordinances of the gospel: faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism by immersion (again an all-the-way process, not a mere sprinkling) and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost.
Elder Bednar explains:
“And after we come out of the waters of baptism, our souls need to be continuously immersed in and saturated with the truth and the light of the Savior’s gospel. Sporadic and shallow dipping in the doctrine of Christ and partial participation in His restored Church cannot produce the spiritual transformation that enables us to walk in a newness of life. Rather, fidelity to covenants, constancy of commitment, and offering our whole soul unto God are required if we are to receive the blessings of eternity.”
Only when the gospel is so completely a part of our lives, only when the Savior is so important to us that we can feel His presence with us every moment, are we really immersed in the gospel. Make the commitment and start building a life with the Savior in the center, not on the fringes.
The waters of baptism purify us so we start out our new journey free of whatever sins we committed in the past. Now that we have been given a fresh start, we can use the Holy Ghost to guide us and to help us avoid future sin. This is a daily process, and one that takes our full concentration and commitment. How hard we work at this depends on how great our faith and commitment to the Lord are. Our actions are one way we show Heavenly Father and the Savior how much we love them and want to return to them. Elder Bednar explains:
“The Holy Spirit of Promise is the ratifying power of the Holy Ghost. When sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise, an ordinance, vow, or covenant is binding on earth and in heaven. (See D&C 132:7.) Receiving this “stamp of approval” from the Holy Ghost is the result of faithfulness, integrity, and steadfastness in honoring gospel covenants “in [the] process of time” (Moses 7:21). However, this sealing can be forfeited through unrighteousness and transgression.”
When we complete the first principles and ordinances of the gospel, and covenant to devote our lives to the service of God, we are on the path to being born again. Our life of service is our gift to the Father who gave us everything. Being born again is a lifelong gift, one that is offered through work, sacrifice, faith, and ultimately, joy.
To read the complete talk, visit LDS.org:
Ye Must be Born Again by David A. Bednar, Ensign, May 2007, 19–22
When Others Don’t Believe You’re Christian
Filed under: Becoming a New Member, Surviving the First Year
If you’ve mentioned to others you are investigating the church, or have recently joined it, you may have had someone tell you that you are no longer a Christian. This is, of course, completely false. Why, the very name of your church has the Savior’s name in it: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Mormon is only a nickname, not the real name of the church.
Naturally, you’ll want to try to correct misconceptions, explaining that the Book of Mormon doesn’t replace the Bible, but is, instead additional testimony of the reality and divinity of the Savior. You might show them your LDS edition of the King James Bible. You’ll probably try to answer any questions they might have.
However, the most important way to counter their misconceptions is to live a Christ-like life. Your virtuous life, coupled with the pictures of the Savior on the walls of your home and your public, but not overbearing recognition of His role in your life, will do more to convince your friends that you are a true Christian than any argument you might offer. You’ve not lost your Christianity—you’ve expanded it.
In the April 1998 General Conference, Bishop Richard C. Edgley, who was the First Counselor in the Presiding Bishopric, suggested that we can turn to Alma 5:14 to find out how to live a Christ-like life: And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?” He suggested we continue through the questions Alma asks. These questions, along with others he added, create a checklist of some of the ways we must live in order to be Christ-like.
Bishop Edgley said,
“Yes, the question is, do our outward devotions translate into a Christlike life? It is not enough that we just talk of Christ, preach of Christ, or even prophesy of Christ (see 2 Ne. 25:26). We must live of Christ, for it is by our own personal, everyday living that the Savior will determine whether we are one of His true disciples, a friend.”
People are far more likely to believe your actions than your words. It’s difficult to convince others a person isn’t a real Christian when that person lives a Christ-like life and speaks of the Savior with love. Live as the Savior lived, and as He’s asked you to live, and your friends will soon come to understand your Christianity.
Teaching the Scriptures to Young Children
Filed under: Becoming a New Member, Surviving the First Year
Are you surprised when your small children—even those who can’t read yet—are asked to bring their scriptures to Primary? Your new religion considers scripture literacy very important, and the best way to help children understand and value the scriptures is to begin reading them to your children long before they can understand what they mean. Even when they appear to be playing, they are often quietly listening. One small boy, asked what was in the scriptures, said enthusiastically, “And it came to pass!” Although he was only three, he had heard and remembered that often repeated phrase from the Book of Mormon his parents had read to him since he was born.
The language of the scriptures may seem hard to you, but a child who is raised hearing them will consider those unusual words very ordinary. When he begins to read, teach him to read scriptural words, since they aren’t taught in public schools.
In the meantime, you can begin with the very smallest children to help them become familiar with the scriptures. When you do your family scripture reading, be sure every child is in the room. Small children might want to hold a doll, but can sit quietly for a few minutes while you read. When they are playing quietly with blocks or other quiet toys, read softly. Read scriptures to help toddlers fall asleep. All of these methods help children learn how the scriptures sound and to associate them with peaceful, loving times.
To help your children learn the meanings of these scriptures, use a combination of the real scriptures and the scripture readers, which were created for children and have many pictures. Read a verse or two and explain what it means. Explain unfamiliar words. You may not have time to do this with all the scriptures you read, but choose at least a chapter or a few verses, depending on the ages of the children to explain.
Consider having children memorize a scripture each week. Recite it before breakfast and bedtime, in the car, and in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. Make sure they know what it means.
Help children learn the stories in the scriptures. The Friend has many flannel board stories about scriptures and you can make these available for Sunday play. You might also want to create a simple puppet theater by turning a coffee table on its side or putting a blanket over a table. Let the children make their own puppets and act out the stories. If you keep a dress-up box of scripture-type clothing, they can put on simple plays based on the stories.
Find out what stories your children are reading in Primary and review those during the week. Help them to understand the message the lesson was teaching.
Learning the scriptures can be fun for even the smallest child. President Hinckley taught:
“Read to your children. Read the story of the Son of God. Read to them from the New Testament. Read to them from the Book of Mormon. It will take time, and you are very busy, but it will prove to be a great blessing in your lives as well as in their lives. And there will grow in their hearts a great love for the Savior of the world, the only perfect man who walked the earth. He will become to them a very real living being, and His great atoning sacrifice as they grow to manhood and womanhood, will take on a new and more glorious meaning in their lives” (quoted in Church News, 6 Dec. 1997, 2).”
How to Treat an LDS Wife
If you’re a man who has recently joined the church, you may be wondering how the teachings of the church will affect your relationships with women, particularly your wife.
Everyone is Heavenly Father’s child and He does not love any one child more than any other. God doesn’t favor any gender, race, or nationality. That said, He didn’t create the genders to be exactly the same.
Spencer W. Kimball taught:
“Within those great assurances, however, our roles and assignments differ. These are eternal differences—with women being given many tremendous responsibilities of motherhood and sisterhood and men being given the tremendous responsibilities of fatherhood and the priesthood—but the man is not without the woman nor the woman without the man in the Lord (see 1 Cor. 11:11). Both a righteous man and a righteous woman are a blessing to all those their lives touch.
Remember, in the world before we came here, faithful women were given certain assignments while faithful men were foreordained to certain priesthood tasks. While we do not now remember the particulars, this does not alter the glorious reality of what we once agreed to.”–Spencer W. Kimball
The jobs are different, but neither is more important than the other. In fact, both parts are necessary for the world to function at its best. With this in mind, LDS men are counseled to treat women with great respect, and to honor the assignments God has given them.
It’s a hard time to be a woman. So much of the world teaches women to throw away their self-respect and their assigned roles. It can be a challenge to settle into a very traditional role and to feel good about it when the world is trying to pull you away. A husband’s support can make a world of difference to a woman trying to find her proper place in the eternal scheme of things. If your wife is also a convert, and is working to alter her accustomed role, it will be your responsibility as the priesthood holder or future priesthood holder, to encourage her and to show her how proud you are of the changes she is making.
As the head of the household, you should work to create a situation in which she can focus on the home while you focus on earning the money. This is an old-fashioned concept to many, but the world was, perhaps, a gentler place when children were raised by mothers, and not by employees. You must teach your children to respect her and her role, and this is done through your own example, as well as through your expectations for your children.
“As you walk on the way to eternity, it is important to gain some understanding and appreciation for the wonderful endowments and callings God has given uniquely to women.
I wonder if we really understand the fulness of these queenly endowments. If we could recognize the true greatness of these women, we would not treat them as we sometimes do. The world often uses and abuses women. We holders of the priesthood should honor good women in and out of the Church as true sisters, not as objects and sources of service or pleasure. Our consideration for women should spring from esteem for the daughters of Zion and an awareness of their true identity more than from a concern with their functions and roles.
President Ezra Taft Benson has stated, “Man is at his best when complemented by a good woman’s natural influence” (Woman, Salt Lake City, Deseret Book Co., 1979, p. 69).
In 1935 the First Presidency stated, “The true spirit of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives to woman the highest place of honor in human life” (James R. Clark comp., Messages of the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1965–75, 6:5). This has been confirmed by President Heber J. Grant: “Without the wonderful work of the women I realize that the Church would have been a failure” (Gospel Standards, comp. G. Homer Durham, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1941, p. 150).”– James E. Faust, “The Highest Place of Honor,” Ensign, May 1988, 36
As a Latter-day Saint husband, you’ll learn to balance your role as head of household with that of treating a wife as an equal partner and a person to be valued, honored, and considered with awe at the challenges of her own role. This is one of your most important priesthood duties, and one that will have an eternal impact on your family for generations to come.
Head of the Household
As a new male member of the church, you may have learned that you are to be the head of the household. If this hasn’t been a part of your marriage in the past, it may seem complicated to you to understand how to do this in light of the way the missionaries taught you to treat your wife. This is because many people confuse being the head of the household with being the boss. They picture an autocratic man controlling every decision, every action. This is not at all what the church means when it tells men to take their place as the head of the home.
“The priesthood places upon the fathers the responsibility of being the head of the family and the home. What does being the head of the family mean? It is a priesthood power, and the Doctrine and Covenants, section 121, makes it clear that all priesthood responsibilities must be exercised “only by persuasion, … by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned” (D&C 121:41). Holding the priesthood does not mean that a man is a power-broker, or that he sits on a throne, dictating in macho terms, or that he is superior in any way. Rather, he is a leader by authority of example. Paul’s counsel to the Ephesians included, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph. 5:25). As Christ lifts us all, so must we, rather than put down women or anyone.
Nowhere does the doctrine of this Church declare that men are superior to women. Paul said to the Corinthians, “Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11). Each brings his or her own separate and unique strengths to the family and the Church. Women are not just cooks, stewards of our homes, or servants. They are much more. They are the enrichment of humanity.”– James E. Faust, “The Highest Place of Honor,” Ensign, May 1988, 36
As the priesthood leader, you set the example of righteous living for the family. You should, when you’re available, call the family to prayer and scripture study without needing to be reminded. You should be certain Family Home Evening happens and be prepared to assist anyone who needs help with his or her assignments.
As the head of the household, you’ll honor your wife’s role and be certain she has whatever she needs to fulfill it, which includes help with childcare and homemaking. Being the head of the household does not excuse you from doing the dishes or changing a diaper. When there are children, running a home is more than one person can reasonably manage alone, especially since it doesn’t come with built in quitting times or days off.
The head of the household interviews his children on a regular basis and watches for opportunities to guide their growing up years. He counsels with his wife to understand the child’s needs and to make decisions both parents are comfortable with.
In general, the head of the household watches over the family, sets a good example, and monitors the righteousness of the home, handling concerns with love, respect, and prayer, not force. He honors his wife’s wisdom and inspiration, and helps, rather than controls. He guides his children gently, creating an atmosphere of love and trust. He follows the example of His Father in Heaven and the Savior for righteous leadership.
Message to New Mormons: Converts to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
I still remember my early days as a newcomer to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (often inadvertently known as “The ‘Mormon‘ Church”). A former Catholic (Karen Trifiletti Merkley), I raised unanswered questions about the war in heaven, confession of sins, baptism, and many other doctrines, which I found later answered as I investigated the claims of the Church of Jesus Christ as mentioned in anti-Mormon literature written by ex-mormons. The claims of Mormons aligned themselves completely with the doctrines of Jesus Christ as I found them through personal, guided study of the New Testament (See www.mormontestimonies.org).
Following baptism, I was received warmly into a congregation of saints, and I really did feel the message fulfilled that I was no longer a stranger, but a fellow citizen in a new household. Still, there were waves of new understanding to surf, winds to stand up to, and waters to navigate that were not yet familiar. I’m thankful to those in Jarrettown, Pennsylvania, for embracing me as a new member, and to those missionaries who spent two years in the Savior’s service, teaching myself and others the way to live a rewarding life here and prepare for one hereafter.
For those new members who have experienced opposition from family, or who have entered a branch or ward still developing and who have desired extra guidance, the following letter may contain some morsel of help.
It was written by Ward Filmore, former counselor in the California San Francisco Presidency.
* * *
Dear New Member:
On the occasion of your baptism into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and on behalf of the members of the Church, we congratulate you on your choice and welcome you as a member of our ward. We join our Heavenly Father in rejoicing that another of His children has chosen to come unto Him through His Son, Jesus Christ by entering the waters of baptism.
The last question in your baptismal interview asks if you are willing to covenant with your Heavenly Father to come into the Church of Jesus Christ and serve Him and keep His commandments for the rest of your life. You have answered that question affirmatively by being baptized today. It is our desire and also the purpose of the Church to help you keep that covenant by teaching you, providing opportunities for you to serve, and making sacred ordinances available to you. Here are some milestones new members may use to set goals for themselves as they move forward as members of the Church over the next several months.
1. Receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost and confirmation as a member of the Church which should take place next Sunday. This great gift will bless you always.
2. Join the Gospel Essentials Class where you will continue to learn the basic principles of the gospel as you study the textbook, Gospel Principles.
3. Receive the six new member discussions from the missionaries and members of the church. These discussions help you understand how the gospel blesses our lives.
4. Be interviewed by the Bishop so he can understand how best to help you.
5. Receive the Aaronic Priesthood and become part of the Elders Quorum which will fellowship you and provide you opportunities to serve using the priesthood.
6. Accept a calling to serve in the Church in which you can experience the joys of service to your brothers and sisters in the Church.
7. Be worthy and receive your patriarchal blessing which will be a guide to your life.
8. Attend the temple to do Baptisms for the Dead which will bless the lives of our departed ancestors and brothers and sisters.
9. Be worthy and receive the Melchizedek Priesthood which will allow you to bless. more fully, the lives of those you love.
10. Be worthy to obtain a temple recommend and receiving your endowment in the temple. In the temple you will make sacred covenants and be blessed (endowed) with additional knowledge and receive guidance as you listen to the Spirit in that holy place.
As your brethren, we offer the following counsel as you begin the great adventure of your new life as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ.
1. Be grateful. Thank your Heavenly Father for his marvelous Plan of Happiness, for the gift of His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Atonement available through Him. Express gratitude to those who have helped you in any way. Feeling grateful brings us peace.
2. Be prayerful. Express your gratitude to Heavenly Father in daily prayer. Seek His counsel in all you do. Listen as you pray. Express your love to Him. Ask how you can serve Him. We promise you His guidance, comfort and protection as you do so.
3. Be patient. Be patient with yourself. Move forward steadily. You are on the right path moving in the right direction. Expect to be a learner all the rest of your life. We all are. Be patient with members of the church. They are not perfect. Like you, they all have other commitments. They make mistakes. Don’t use their misbehavior or weakness as an excuse for being upset with the Church. Patience brings peace.
4. Be dependable. Accept callings in the church. The church needs everyone to help. There is no paid ministry. The work of the church is divided among all members who are willing to serve. You can help the work of the Lord go forward as you serve with gladness and gratitude. You will feel great satisfaction as your serve dependably.
5. Be self reliant. There are things that only you can do for yourself. Only you can repent for yourself. Only you can gain a personal knowledge of the scriptures. Take responsibility for your own spiritual welfare. Don’t wait to be asked before you reach out to help others. You have direct access to Heavenly Father. He loves you and He will answer your prayers.
6. Be faithful. Pay your tithing gladly. When we pay tithing we step onto the Lord’s side of the line. We prove we are trustworthy and we open the windows of heaven for ourselves and our families. As you are faithful in keeping the commandments, you will feel cheerful, happy, and at peace.
7. Be a good learner. Love the truth. No other knowledge can substitute for a personal knowledge of the scriptures. Study them regularly. Set goals for yourself, over time, to finish the Book of Mormon and the other scriptures. Read the church magazines. Ask questions, be observant, and you will learn steadily and surely the truths of the Gospel. The Lord expects us to learn with our minds (acquiring knowledge) and our hearts (learning to be good). He wants us to know what is right and to also do what is right. We feel a sense of achievement as we learn and live the Gospel.
8. Be active. There is much good you personally can do; in your family, among your friends, as well as in the church. You can serve and bless the lives of others. The gospel of Jesus Christ is for all people who are assigned to this earth. Missionary work reaches out to those on the earth who are not yet members. The work for the dead helps those who have left this life already. Current members of the church are blessed through their participation in the church. As you bless others, you also bring blessings to yourself.
9. Be comforted. Our Heavenly Father’s love for you and each of his children is constant, steady, and unwavering. He will always assure you of His love for you if you seek to feel it. He will always counsel you out of His love and wisdom. No human counsel can match His. You can depend on His love, His wisdom, His goodness, and His availability to you as you seek to do His will.
10. Be worthy. Keep yourself clean from the sins of the world. After you have received your first temple recommend, do everything possible to be worthy to keep it for the rest of your life. Let virtue garnish your thoughts unceasingly. Seek the welfare of those around you. Overcome selfishness and control your passions and your heart will be filled with love.
As the bishopric of the ward, we are called to serve all members of our ward. You will be assigned to a priesthood quorum or group and be visited by home teachers. Pray for your leaders and home teachers and seek their counsel. If you need to counsel privately with the Bishop, seek an appointment through the Executive Secretary. We send our love to you.
For new female converts, the milestones might be as follows:
1. Receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost and confirmation as a member of the Church which should take place next Sunday. This great gift will bless you always.
2. Join the Gospel Essentials Class where you will continue to learn the basic principles of the gospel as you study the textbook, Gospel Principles.
3. Receive the six new member discussions from the missionaries and members of the church. These discussions help you understand how the gospel blesses our lives.
4. Be interviewed by the Bishop so he can understand how best to help you.
5. Join the Relief Society of the ward where you will have an opportunity to serve, learn, and grow.
6. Accept a calling to serve in the Church in which you can experience the joys of service to your brothers and sisters in the Church.
7. Be worthy and receive your patriarchal blessing which will be a guide to your life.
8. Attend the temple to do Baptisms for the Dead which will bless the lives of our departed ancestors and brothers and sisters.
9. Be worthy to obtain a temple recommend and receiving your endowment in the temple. In the temple you will make sacred covenants and be blessed (endowed) with additional knowledge and receive guidance as you listen to the spirit in that holy place.
* * *
Br. Filmore writes for http://familyhist.org/meridianjapan/. We wish to thank Br. Filmore for sharing this with us. It is our prayer that new members will feel our love and become actively involved in their wards. May God Bless each one of you as go further on this path of increased closeness to Jesus Christ.
~ Karen Merkley and the More Good Foundation team.
Becoming an Effective Follower
We hear much in the church about the importance of leadership, but less about what Roger Merrill calls followership. There is no point in having leaders if there is no one to follow, and followership is an excellent place for new members to provide service in the church. When we learn to effectively and humbly follow our leaders, we show respect for the Lord’s choices for leadership. Since we are all asked to follow the Savior, learning to follow righteous earthly leaders is good training for this.
Brother Merrill advises:
“A good follower asks what to do and is willing to receive and listen to counsel and advice from his leaders. The brother of Jared was advised by Jared and the Lord, and the sons of Mosiah were advised by their father, and by Alma, and they followed this advice.
A good follower must be willing to accept responsibility and to make recommendations that will be accepted by the leader. This means that a follower must try to learn about his leader’s ways. He should try to anticipate the leader’s needs in a creative way and seek constantly to do the things that the leader needs to have done. A follower needs to act on his own and to bring to pass much righteousness of his own free will. This implies that the follower must understand true principles so that the things he does will bring to pass righteousness and not wickedness. Many young people in the Church have great leadership potential, but in many cases, it will not be realized because they will not first learn to follow. A great leader is first a great follower. Become a great follower. Do what you are told. Ask what to do and listen to counsel. Accept responsibility; make recommendations, carry them out, and bring to pass righteousness because of your own free will. There are no shortcuts to confidence or righteousness. We must be willing to take them a step at a time and walk before we run. We must follow before we lead.”
Although this quote refers to people in callings, it is also good advice for those of us who don’t have callings, but are active members in a ward. Nearly every week our leaders give us counsel and advice, and we can accept responsibility for carrying them out. Has a leader asked that members sign up for building cleanup or participate in a community service project? Has he asked us to work harder on reverence in a meeting? Whenever a leader makes a righteous request, we’re expected to act on those requests. This allows us to learn to follow righteous counsel, and prepares us for future leadership opportunities.
When we remember that each leader is called of God, it becomes easier to follow our leaders and to show them respect. This builds our testimony, our humility, and our ability to live the gospel.
Developing Leadership Skills Without a Calling
Since joining the church, you’ve probably become aware that we have a great need for leaders. There are many positions which require leadership, and most people get a chance to be a leader sooner or later. When I joined the church, I was certain I would not be one of them. I was most definitely a follower. It didn’t work out that way, of course. I was eventually called into leadership positions and had to learn to become a leader.
You can begin this process now, even though you’re new to the church and probably don’t have a leadership position yet. Even if you have no leadership experience anywhere, you can be prepared when the time comes.
Watch the leaders in your ward (congregation.) Notice how they lead a meeting, so you’ll understand how it’s done. When you attend an event, try to figure out what the leaders might have had to do to prepare.
President Spencer W. Kimball, a former president of the church, had this advice for women on leadership: “Do you think of leadership as telling others what to do, or as making all the decisions? Not so. Leadership is the ability to encourage the best efforts of others in working toward a desirable goal. Who has more significant opportunities to lead than a mother who guides her children toward perfection, or the wife who daily counsels with her husband that they may grow together? The tremendous contribution in leadership made by women in the auxiliaries of the Church and in their communities is likewise beyond measure.” Spencer W. Kimball, “Relief Society—Its Promise and Potential,” Ensign, Mar 1976, 2
Anyone, male or female, can practice this type of leadership. We all know people who need encouragement. We all know people who need help managing a complicated project, or even a complicated life, and who would welcome a helping hand.
We can practice organizing our own lives as well. When you have a large project, take time to think it through and to decide what steps must be done in order to complete it. Be sure to spend time in evaluation later. This practice will help you later when you’re put in charge of something important.
Become a good listener. Leaders often spend much of their time listening to others, and being compassionate. Get to know people who are different from you, so you can understand other lives and cultures, making you a more effective leader of others.
Study how the Savior led and begin using those skills in your daily life. For more on this, read “Lesson 29: Developing Leadership,” The Latter-day Saint Woman: Basic Manual for Women, Part B, 247. This lesson includes an analysis of the Savior’s leadership style, with suggestions on how we can apply it to our own leadership.
Don’t expect perfection the first time you lead. Leadership takes time to develop, but over time, you will find many opportunities in the church to develop this skill.